Our Game of Thrones season 3 spoilers continue. See Part one here for spoilers for Daenerys, Jon Snow, Tyrion, Arya, and Sansa, here for Winds of Winter release date news, here for Robb Stark and Joffrey spoilers such as there is, and here for our latest show recap. And for the very short version of season three spoilers, see here, although we've already gotten to some of those.
Fat Sam has some real adventures ahead of him. Before the end of Game of Thrones season 3, spoiler alert, he'll make it back to the Wall with Gilly. How does someone useless like Sam -- and seriously, he is useless -- make it from the ruins of Craster's Keep to the Wall with an infant in tow? They get some help. They get help from someone or something named Coldhands, a humanlike figure who rides an elk and may or may not be a wight. He may or may not be someone else too, but even the books haven't revealed that for certain yet, so I'll keep it to myself for now.
Regardless, with Coldhands' help, Sam and Gilly will cross beneath the Wall into the ruins of the Nightfort, the largest and oldest Night's Watch castle along the Wall, long abandoned and thought haunted. While in the Nightfort, they stumble across...
Bran, Jojen, and Meera don't have a ton of Game of Thrones season 3 spoilers to their name. They will continue in their journey looking for the three-eyed crow, which will ultimately take them to the Wall. To avoid the imminent war between the Watch and the wildlings, they go to the Nightfort and pass through the secret gate underneath, with Samwell Tarly's help. They pass north of the Wall and meet Coldhands, who will lead them farther north in search of the three-eyed crow.
Jaime & Brienne
It won't be long now before Jaime gets free of Locke and Roose Bolton. That's because, shocker, Roose Bolton lets him go, his only condition being that Jaime does not hold him responsible for his hand. Jaime agrees and heads off for King's Landing with the fallen maester Qyburn in tow -- but without Brienne, whom Bolton won't free.
But Jaime's conscience gets the better of him. He turns back for Harrenhal and saves Brienne single-handedly (too soon?). Together, they march for King's Landing, and that is likely as far as Game of Thrones season 3 spoilers will take us.
Stannis & Davos
Good news on this front, Stannis fans (I count myself as a member of Team Stannis). First off, Stannis is probably going to let Davos out of his cell as soon as episode 6. If not, it won't be long after. Stannis not only forgives Davos, he'll name him Hand of the King -- because Davos is the only person who will tell Stannis what he really thinks, not what he thinks Stannis wants to hear. In short, Stannis will make Davos Hand for the same reason Robert deposed Ned as Hand -- for a willingness to speak his mind.
Davos will soon do so. Stannis's army is small and weak, in no position to challenge the Lannisters or any of the other kings. But when Davos receives a raven from Castle Black that the realm is under attack by Mance Rayder, he tells Stannis what a true king would do. Not brood on his defeats or sacrifice royal blood to the fire, but save the realm from an actual threat.
And so Stannis, Melisandre, Davos, and what's left of Stannis's army sail north for the Wall to fight Mance Rayder.
What you see is what you get for Theon. He's going to be where he is, being tortured and tormented by that guy, for quite some time -- probably for all of next season, depending on how the show producers treat him. For the record, his current location is the Dreadfort -- the castle of House Bolton. And his tormenter is Ramsay Snow, Roose Bolton's bastard and only living child, soon to be legitimized as Ramsay Bolton.
Ramsay Bolton is a character you will soon hate almost as much as...
... whose exploits we will cover in part 3 of this series! I know, I'm such a tease. Click here for the remaining adventures of Joffrey Baratheon, Margaery Tyrell, Cersei Lannister, Catelyn Stark, and Robb Stark.