"Game of Thrones" Joffrey death would be a dream come true to just about anyone, on Earth or in Westeros. It's hard to even imagine anyone besides Cersei caring if something dreadful happened to Joffrey Baratheon. But it's easy to imagine a lot of people caring if he went on to rule for another thirty, forty, fifty years. Joffrey is easily the most hated character in "Game of Thrones" season 3, and if you really, really need to know whether or not he dies, I'll tell you, since I've read all the books so far, and the series is very faithful. If you must know whether or not Joffrey bites the dust, read on. UPDATE: So season 3 is over and Joffrey lives. Does he make it through season 4, though?
Before I tell you if there will ever be a "Game of Thrones" Joffrey death, let's go over the dread sins of the second Baratheon king. Or first Lannister king, if you believe those vicious and vile rumors.
Joffrey is pretty clearly a bad guy. A "Game of Thrones" Joffrey death would be richly deserved. Here's why. Joffrey killed Ned Stark, for precisely no reason, as one of his first major acts in office. He forced his Kingsguard to beat up Sansa on his behalf. He forced a singer to choose between losing his fingers and his tongue, just for singing a modestly mean song about him. He likes to beat and torture people, and is a sadist through and through.
Here There Be "Game of Thrones" Spoilers
"Game of Thrones" season 3 spoilers, Joffrey Baratheon style, start right here, so go somewhere else (like to HBO Go) if you aren't caught up yet.
The latest Joffrey death, the first one to come directly from his hands rather than from his orders, closed out the last episode. Ros, our old prostitute friend who came down from Winterfell when Ned first became "Hand of the King", long-time sex worker in Littlefinger's fancy brothel, more recent little bird for Varys, became Joffrey's latest victim.
Sure, Littlefinger set her up because she had been spying on him. But Joffrey was the one who wanted to kill someone for sheer sport. With his horrible crossbow, practically an extension of himself at this point, its sexual connotations obvious, he slaughtered Ros in his own bedroom. It's just too much. Even if, like me, you don't like Ros because she's not in the books.
So will there be a Joffrey death? Spoilers time. Leave now and never come back unless you really need to know. Okay, here's your answer. Joffrey will not die in "Game of Thrones" season 3. The King will keep on doing terrible things to people for the back half of the season, although Margaery will continue to be a definite calming influence to him. But Joffrey is irredeemable. He is one of a very few characters in "Game of Thrones" who is black and white -- or, rather, just black. Joffrey is an evil kid turning quickly into an evil man. And that's why a Joffrey death would bring so many people so much joy.
Serious "Game of Thrones" Joffrey Death Spoilers Coming Right Up
Okay, you asked for it. The Joffrey death is inevitable. He is hated in all quarters. Honestly, even Tywin and Cersei only barely tolerate him. And so, the biggest "Game of Thrones" season 4 spoilers: Joffrey Baratheon will die, probably in the middle of season 4. And it will truly be a joyous day.
How does Joffrey die? Oh, revenge is sweet. He dies on the first day of the third century after Aegon's Landing, and that day just happens to be his wedding. During the ceremony, he drinks some wine. Wine that has been poisoned with a choking venom. And, as the entire court looks on, he chokes to death, he asphyxiates in front of everyone. It will truly be a sweet, sweet moment for everyone except his mother.
Who does it? What brave and noble soul takes the risk of orchestrating the "Game of Thrones" Joffrey death, and bringing the young and pliable King Tommen Baratheon, First of His Name, to the Iron Throne? Spoiler alert: it's not the person arrested for it (Tyrion) or the unwitting accomplice (Sansa). It is much, much better than that.
Oh, you want to know, do you?
Too bad! Go read the books.