‘The Lone Ranger’ Reviews: Top Five Most Hilarious Criticisms Of Johnny Depp’s New Disney Film
Johnny Depp's new Disney film was released last Wednesday and "The Lone Ranger" reviews have been less than favorable, but some are incredibly funny. The movie, in which Depp plays the title character's Native Indian sidekick, Tonto, is panned by critics, scoring just 26 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, a film review aggregator.
Here are the five most hilarious criticisms launched at the summer blockbuster:
1. Christopher Orr of The Atlantic wrote in his "The Lone Ranger" review, "Somewhere around the hour-and-a-half mark, 'The Lone Ranger' makes the fateful decision not to end. Worse, the movie keeps not-ending for another full hour."
2. Ty Burr of The Boston Globe wrote, "Gore Verbinski's bloated, overlong, $250 million western comedy is like watching an elephant tap dance in your living room: Everything gets trampled and the dancing's not very good."
3. Matt Brunson of Creative Loafing wrote, "'The Lone Ranger' clocks in at a punishing 150 minutes, and it's the sort of film where a chainsaw would have been immensely useful in the editing room."
4. Mark Keizer of Alt Film Guide wrote, "In 'The Lone Ranger', Depp plays Tonto, the title character's Comanche sidekick, with a face full of stone-colored makeup and a dead crow atop his head. Darting his eyes and contorting his face into comical shapes while cracking wise with a slightly overdone injun accent, Depp plays it like a silent-film clown."
5. Mike McGranaghan of The Aisle Seat wrote, "'The Lone Ranger' is not a concept or an idea, it's a mentality. The movie exists because a bunch of people thought they understood the necessary elements to manufacture a blockbuster. The formula they used is simple: take an already-established property, stage a handful of outsized action sequences to make it seem relevant to today's audiences, throw in some moments of winking humor to show that nobody's taking themselves too seriously (even though they are), and cast a big movie star to do a variation on the same thing he always does. As cynical as it sounds, that formula sometimes works. This time, it does not."
Adding to the sting of the "The Lone Ranger" reviews that panned the Johnny Depp movie, the expensive film was a relative flop, making just $9.7 million when it opened on Wednesday, compared to "Despicable Me 2," which grossed $34 million on its opening day.
Do you think these "The Lone Ranger" reviews are fair? Let us know in the comments.
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