"American Horror Story" season 2 streaming... that is the question. Actually that's not a question at all. When is "American Horror Story" season 2 streaming on Netflix? That's a question. And an interesting one, too. Season 1 has been on there for a while. Season 3, "Coven," premieres in a little over a month. But season 2 is nowhere to be found (well, not nowhere exactly). What gives? Are you (by which I mean "am I") going to be able to watch "American Horror Story" season 2 free before "Coven" starts (P.S.: New trailer for "Coven" at the end. Like, actually new!)?

Sorry, guyos: I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if you're hoping for legal "American Horror Story" season 2 streaming before "Coven" starts, then tough bananas, on account of it ain't happening. Here's why. "Coven," also known as "American Horror Story" season 3, is premiéring on October 9, 2013, just in time for things to be heating up by Samhain / All Hallows Eve / Hollow Ian. But the "American Horror Story" season 2 DVD doesn't come out until October 8, 2013. For those of you who are literally brainless (many of my readers are actually trees, and I think a few are jellyfish), those days are only one day apart!

And guess what. We may be living in the future, but Hollywood isn't. They are not going to put something up on streaming before the DVD is out. Never ever ever. Even day and date releases are extremely unusual, for an obvious reason: there's barely a reason to buy the digital versatile disc (that's what DVD stands for... seriously) if you can just watch the show with your whatever-Netflix-costs-a-month dollar subscription. That's why the DVD usually comes out, like, three months before a show pops up on Netflix. And sometimes it's a lot longer than that (like "Breaking Bad" season 5).

Why the "American Horror Story" season 2 DVD didn't come out three months ago is anybody's guess - it's a relatively long turnaround - but there it is. There is no way in h*c* that season 2 will pop on streaming anytime soon. Realistically, it won't be on Netflix or Amazon Instant (free Amazon Instant, anyway) until after "Coven" finishes. That's no fun. It's no fun at all.

But it's not the end of the world. The nice thing about the "American Horror Story" season 3 premiere, as you know, is that "Coven" has nothing to do with "Asylum" or "Murder House." Like the others, it will be a standalone. So there's no real need to catch up on the show. The desire to is obvious; after all, believe it or not, "American Horror Story" season 2 has more Emmy nominations than anything else this year (good for them!). It's good stuff. It's understandable to want to be on the level.

Luckily, "Coven" looks like it will be even better - and less all over the place. Here's the newest trailer in case you haven't seen it:

The "American Horror Story" season 3 premiere is October 9, 2013. In the meantime, you're high and dry.