Okay people, let's just get one thing straight right now; Adam Sandler is ALIVE — which more than I can say for my humor, or my hoax-ridden fingertips. It seems as soon as I finish covering one, another one pops up — kind of like those little gopher games in Chuck E Cheese ... But anyway, I digress.

So you've heard it before — twice now. Word for word. Just take out Charlie Sheen and Channing Tatum's name, insert Adam Sandler's, and what you have is the third Switzerland snowboard hoax to take social media by storm this week.

So who's starting these incredibly taxing and terrifying tricks? None other than Global Associated News, a jokester website well known for its hoax starters. The same folks responsible for the others 2 snowy slaughterings.

Now, not that I'm really in love with these hoaxes as it is, but you would think, at the very least, they could give these guys a unique death scenario. I guess though, if you get your kicks off of terrifying the ignorant, originality is probably not high on your priority list.

If you didn't hear it the first two times, here is the crock of crap Global Associated News has been feeding thousands of fans, causing them to believe 3 much-beloved actors have fallen, while they are in fact alive and kicking, and most on the sets of upcoming movies.

"Witnesses indicate that Adam Sandler lost control of his snowboard and struck a tree at a high rate of speed," the report reads. "Adam Sandler was air lifted by ski patrol teams to a local hospital, however, it is believed that the actor died instantly from the impact of the crash. The actor was wearing a helmet at the time of the accident and drugs and alcohol do not appear to have played any part in his death."

So there you have it. Died in a crash and no alcohol to be found. Boy could I use a drink...

I don't exactly understand how these things get so far out of control. I mean, really folks. A simple Google search and you've got the knowledge! We don't have to "tweet" everything we believe, or create a Facebook page in honor of our ignorance! This, however, is exactly what keeps happening time and again. Adam Sandler's death is no exception. Right now on Facebook, 56,000 people in counting have lit the proverbial "like" candle in honor of a star whose time has not in fact come.

I'm sorry if this post doesn't hold all the jaunty enthusiasm mine typically do. I think Twitter and its hoaxes have killed it.

As to the actor himself, this video shows about what I imagine Sandler might feel about being killed off, for the second time, in this same mundane fashion.

For more Celebrity Death Hoax and Twitter Stories, see:

Tom Kenny Dead: Voice of Sponge Bob Death Hoax Produces Weird 'In Memory of' Photos

Alfonso Ribeiro AKA 'Carlton' Found Dead in His Tweets. Will the Madness Never End??? [VIDEO]

Bill Cosby Death Hoax Joins Bill Nye's for a Kill Bill Monday on Twitter: Is It Time For the Hoaxes to Stop? [POLL]

Lil Wayne Dead? Nah, Rapper Victim of the Latest Twitter Internet Death Hoax